Sometimes the world is wrong.
Apr. 19th, 2010 07:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catsittingstillAbout an hour ago I was ready to go to bed, pull the pillow over my head and howl.
Since I was at the store at the time, this wasn't practical. Instead, I bought a big bag of peanut butter M & Ms, and a bottle of decaf diet dew, and came home, figuring I'd make up my mind at home whether I wanted to curl up with the M&Ms and pop, or go to bed and howl or both.
My problem is two books. One is called _Changes_ and is by Jim Butcher, his latest Harry Dresden novel. Normally I like Harry Dresden novels but ... not this time. Now in these types of hard-bitten murder mystery type fantasies there is a convention that it is the way of the world that women are victims of violence and men are the perpetrators of it. I don't think this is a healthy attitude to foster, being a woman myself, but I recognize it's a common trope.
I don't want to give anything away here, since some folks may plan to read it, but _Changes_ has this in spades and it's pissing me off.
Really, think about it. Take serial killers: who are the perpetrators? Usually men. Who do they kill? Usually women. Take domestic violence--same thing. Take stalkers--same thing. And the movies and television shows reflect that and so do books. I understand it; it's the way of the world.
But the way of the world is WRONG dammit.
The other problem is a book called _A Crown of Swords_ by Robert Jordan. I wouldn't normally bother with this; I enjoyed the first few books but along about book four or five I came to a choking halt on the sheer volume of the ...er...volumes, and quit reading. But a friend of mine asked my opinion on Chapters 28 and 29 of this book. So, okay, I admit that the "I liked Harry better before he turned into a jerk; I understand he's a wizard and wizards turn into things but he should have avoided turning into this particular thing" mood I was in may not have been the best state of mind to begin these chapters, but I figured I would get them over with and go on to something else.
Well, Chapters 28 and 29 apparently are of interest because they're the chapters where one of the major characters gets first sexually harassed, then, despite strong efforts to escape without doing something socially unacceptable, raped. At knife point, for God's sake. And his confusion and isolation are that much worse because he has no vocabulary to even express what happened to him; in his society there is no understanding that rape can *happen* to a man; men are supposed to *want* that kind of thing. And--here's the kicker--it's presented in the book as being *funny*. We're supposed to complete Matt's isolation and violation by laughing at him. After all--ha ha--it's such a ridiculous idea that a woman could force a man to have sex against his will.
Yes Matt, these people *are* all crazy. Just not for the reason you think.
When that stinker Ringo put a female soldier in his book named Ima Hooker (should have given her the middle name Justa--or maybe two middle names, Justa and No'count. Given the nature of his sense of humor he could not possibly have discarded those as over the top, so I suspect he just didn't think of it at the time) I was mad. I was mad because rape is a real problem in the military and part of why it happens is that male soldiers are taught to see their sisters in arms as not being real soldiers but only (wait for it...) hookers. And Ringo, with his "joke" soldier Ima Hooker, has just made it that much worse.
Now I'm mad again. Rape of men by women, while rare, is also a real problem, and devastating for the man involved. And part of what makes it so devastating is the belief that --ha ha-- it's such a ridiculous idea that a woman could force a man so it either didn't happen or he isn't a real man. Men often end up not being able to articulate what happened to them, even to themselves, because of that. And Jordan, with his "funny" rape of Matt, has just made it that much worse.
A plague on both their houses.
Leave me alone; I want to eat peanut butter M&Ms and reread _A Civil Campaign_
For what it's worth I have decided not to howl at this time.
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no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 12:55 am (UTC)Hahahah only women want to eat vegetables. (I don't know why that was grating on me so much, really. But it bugged the hell out of me.)
Hahahah Matt was raped only it's really funny.
And so on. Gack.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-21 12:17 am (UTC)And while we're at it....
Date: 2010-04-20 12:11 am (UTC)Nate
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 12:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 01:04 am (UTC)But I'm glad I'm not the only one for whom _A Civil Campaign_ is comfort reading.
Re: And while we're at it....
Date: 2010-04-20 01:17 am (UTC)It really is quite simple; I don't get why people act like they don't understand it.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 01:19 am (UTC)It's just that sometimes it seems like I have been watching the world for forty years and if it's getting better, it's getting better awfully *slowly*.
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Date: 2010-04-20 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 01:22 am (UTC)So I'm not the only one who didn't like this book. I was waiting for it's arrival with great anticipation and I have to say, I was disappointed.
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Date: 2010-04-20 01:29 am (UTC)Cat, you're absolutely right. As usual. Many times I wish your words could reach everybody alive today, and this is one of those times.
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Date: 2010-04-20 02:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 04:11 am (UTC)"Life is imperfect"
Date: 2010-04-20 04:11 am (UTC)Yeah.
& it is getting better. But slowly and by fits and starts. This is one of those big social problems; bigger than our lives. Still, most people can talk about it now; most people couldn't 50 years ago. Feminism has created ethical critiques of popular rape tropes in fiction and these stand as a basis for further thinking of the idea; I doubt you could have written your essay if the ground hadn't already been prepared.
BTW, I recommend Sherwood Smith's Inda books (I think there are four of them--so far I have only read two) as addressing this subject. She's done something quite remarkable with the rape tropes in them, and the reader only finds out what 3/4s of the way into the first one.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 06:56 am (UTC)Re: And while we're at it....
Date: 2010-04-20 07:05 am (UTC)My personal favorite makes-me-want-to-howl variant is the assumption, still, that it isn't rape if you're married because a married woman "owes" her husband. But I admit I may have a personal bias in this regard.
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Date: 2010-04-20 02:28 pm (UTC)Also, there is NOTHING I hate more than rape as a plot device.
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Date: 2010-04-20 04:52 pm (UTC)And the _Changes_ thing is disturbing on an awful lot of levels; I may write more about it at some point but I'll put it behind a cut, because there's no way to talk about it without giving away major plot points.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 04:53 pm (UTC)Re: "Life is imperfect"
Date: 2010-04-20 04:56 pm (UTC)I appreciate your recommendation, but I'm really not sure I want to read about rape right now, no matter how innovative the treatment. I will try to keep it in mind for later.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 04:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 04:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 05:00 pm (UTC)I expect there are a lot of people out there who have more pressing personal issues than a book or two, though :-)
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 05:02 pm (UTC)I liked the Dresden novels because they seemed to me to avoid a lot of the gender traps that bog down writers like Eddings and Jordan, so it's doubly disturbing to me to see Harry behaving the way he does here.
I may write more about it later. It would need to go behind a cut, though, because so many of my complaints can't be separated from plot points that people planning to read the book still wouldn't want to know in advance.
Re: "Life is imperfect"
Date: 2010-04-20 06:02 pm (UTC)& if you don't want to read about rape, I think the Inda books might please you.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 06:45 pm (UTC)Re: "Life is imperfect"
Date: 2010-04-20 09:45 pm (UTC)Kip thinks that I'm prudish--not about sex but about violence. I think that I don't mind violence in books (as long as it's not excessive, and I grant you that Butcher's books skate close to the edge of my tolerance) but I do mind gender-directed violence.
Regarding the Inda books, I will keep your recommendation in mind.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 10:11 pm (UTC)The person posting seems to me to have it about right, except that where it doesn't spoil the story for her, it *does* spoil it for me.
Some of the comments, though... What a lot of rape-apology and victim blaming BS.
I didn't see anything about Ayn Rand but I wasn't looking. There is a strong strand of Ayn Rand ...um....admiration... running through fandom in general. I find that kind of thing more interesting in end-of-the-world fiction than in real life, I'm afraid.
Re: "Life is imperfect"
Date: 2010-04-21 01:14 am (UTC)Prudery about violence...
Date: 2010-04-30 06:31 am (UTC)Re: Prudery about violence...
Date: 2010-05-01 02:21 pm (UTC)I am aware that my ancestors were more comfortable with violence; the idea that there might be something intrinsically wrong with violence is a relatively new one.
Re: Prudery about violence...
Date: 2010-05-01 05:19 pm (UTC)What do you mean when you say that non-violence is a new idea? Historically, it seems to go back to the fifth century BCE in Pythagoreanism and Jainism, but there's no reason to believe it started then--there was not much written prior to that time.
Re: Prudery about violence...
Date: 2010-05-01 09:46 pm (UTC)Relatively widespread acceptance of the idea that there is something intrinsically wrong with violence seems to have shown up only in the last century or so. Old punishments, for example, were horrific: Flogging, cutting people into four pieces while still alive, crucifixion. There are cookbooks with directions for how to cook a live goose while keeping it alive as long as possible. Nobody thought anything of hitting a child with a stick, or a belt.
Now I can't speak for eastern civilizations; I dont' know much about them. But at least in the west things like pacifism, vegetarianism, a stance against corporal punishment of children, an end to slavery--these things have been showing up gradually, usually first, and more fully, in that segment of the population more likely to accept new ideas.
Re: Prudery about violence...
Date: 2010-05-02 05:08 am (UTC)The mid-8th to mid-13th centuries was the Islamic golden age, when the Dar-al-Islam reached from what is now Spain to Central Asia. Islam was not a gentle religion, ever, but it kept the peace. The golden age ended, and the people became more brutal.
From 810 to 1156 (ah, Japan, so orderly) Heian Japan abolished the death penalty. This similarly ended with the end of the Heian period.
This of course only scratches the surface. I don't want to pretend the old days were better. But it was not a simple progress. Ideas became widespread, were abandoned, and then brought back again. One exception: so far as I know slavery has emerged in every non-industrial culture which uses high-intensity agriculture. This suggests a need to avoid that state: keep population in check and use technology so that subsistence agriculture does not emerge. This in turn suggests that, first, educated women and, second, contraception are necessary for long-term peace in settled human societies, though I doubt I'm the first person to make that observation.