Sometimes the world is wrong.

About an hour ago I was ready to go to bed, pull the pillow over my head and howl.

Since I was at the store at the time, this wasn't practical. Instead, I bought a big bag of peanut butter M & Ms, and a bottle of decaf diet dew, and came home, figuring I'd make up my mind at home whether I wanted to curl up with the M&Ms and pop, or go to bed and howl or both.

My problem is two books. One is called _Changes_ and is by Jim Butcher, his latest Harry Dresden novel. Normally I like Harry Dresden novels but ... not this time. Now in these types of hard-bitten murder mystery type fantasies there is a convention that it is the way of the world that women are victims of violence and men are the perpetrators of it. I don't think this is a healthy attitude to foster, being a woman myself, but I recognize it's a common trope.

I don't want to give anything away here, since some folks may plan to read it, but _Changes_ has this in spades and it's pissing me off.

Really, think about it. Take serial killers: who are the perpetrators? Usually men. Who do they kill? Usually women. Take domestic violence--same thing. Take stalkers--same thing. And the movies and television shows reflect that and so do books. I understand it; it's the way of the world.

But the way of the world is WRONG dammit. 

The other problem is a book called _A Crown of Swords_ by Robert Jordan.  I wouldn't normally bother with this; I enjoyed the first few books but along about book four or five I came to a choking halt on the sheer volume of the ...er...volumes, and quit reading.  But a friend of mine asked my opinion on Chapters 28 and 29 of this book.  So, okay, I admit that the "I liked Harry better before he turned into a jerk; I understand he's a wizard and wizards turn into things but he should have avoided turning into this particular thing" mood I was in may not have been the best state of mind to begin these chapters, but I figured I would get them over with and go on to something else.

Well, Chapters 28 and 29 apparently are of interest because they're the chapters where one of the major characters gets first sexually harassed, then, despite strong efforts to escape without doing something socially unacceptable, raped.  At knife point, for God's sake.  And his confusion and isolation are that much worse because he has no vocabulary to even express what happened to him;  in his society there is no understanding that rape can *happen* to a man; men are supposed to *want* that kind of thing.  And--here's the kicker--it's presented in the book as being *funny*.  We're supposed to complete Matt's isolation and violation by laughing at him.  After all--ha ha--it's such a ridiculous idea that a woman could force a man to have sex against his will.

Yes Matt, these people *are* all crazy.  Just not for the reason you think.

When that stinker Ringo put a female soldier in his book named Ima Hooker  (should have given her the middle name Justa--or maybe two middle names, Justa and No'count.  Given the nature of his sense of humor he could not possibly have discarded those as over the top, so I suspect he just didn't think of it at the time) I was mad.  I was mad because rape is a real problem in the military and part of why it happens is that male soldiers are taught to see their sisters in arms as not being real soldiers but only (wait for it...) hookers.  And Ringo, with his "joke" soldier Ima Hooker, has just made it that much worse.

Now I'm mad again.  Rape of men by women, while rare, is also a real problem, and devastating for the man involved.  And part of what makes it so devastating is the belief that --ha ha-- it's such a ridiculous idea that a woman could force a man so it either didn't happen or he isn't a real man.  Men often end up not being able to articulate what happened to them, even to themselves, because of that.  And Jordan, with his "funny" rape of Matt, has just made it that much worse.

A plague on both their houses. 

Leave me alone; I want to eat peanut butter M&Ms and reread _A Civil Campaign_
 
For what it's worth I have decided not to howl at this time.