Proposing a meme: Who's brave enough to say it with me?

[catsittingstill]

I had sex before I was married. Many times. With several different people. I used birth control every single time. And I'm not sorry for any of it; this is perfectly normal behavior.

Any politician who voices the slightest problem with this will not be getting my vote, my money, or my effort. Voting for someone who holds you up to public contempt is self destructive.

I'm not self destructive. How about you?

Comments

[batyatoon]

I'll take that one further: if you are a woman, voting for someone who holds up sexually active single women to public contempt is self-destructive even if you as a single woman are not or were not sexually active.

I keep seeing this from women in the media and in casual internet encounters: the idea that there are two kinds of women, and that so long as you keep yourself in the well-behaved good girl category, you don't have to worry about how anyone treats the other sort of girl. Because you're not that sort of girl. And if other girls would just behave like you do, they wouldn't have to worry about anything either.

And I keep wanting to shake their shoulders and yell at them: do you think that will protect you?

[catsittingstill]

Yes indeed.

People who have good reason to fear what Team Woman can accomplish try to split us up into Team Slut and Team Prude and make us fight each other. Because that way we aren't fighting *them* and they get things all their own way.

[batyatoon]

I don't think it's that conscious on the part of the patriarchy. It's certainly not that conscious on the part of every guy who ever believed there were two kinds of women, one kind that you have to treat respectfully and one kind that's fair game. (Or, for that matter, the guys who don't believe that first category exists.)

That's the effective outcome, though, and it weakens all of us.

[catsittingstill]

In my opinion, it's just as bad--just as harmful and just as easily passed on--if they're doing it unconsciously.

At some point we need to call it out, lay it in the sunlight, and stand around staring, and gingerly turning it over with a stick so we will all recognize it immediately when we see it again. The first immune response takes the longest and requires a close examination. Later immune responses will be quicker and more automatic.

I want us to be *allergic* to this. To pop out in hives, start scratching, and go "someone is speaking double standard again."

[batyatoon]

Oh, it's absolutely just as bad. Maybe worse, because when it's done unconsciously, the people doing it can think of themselves as decent and non-malicious people who would never wish anyone any harm.

And oh, well put. We need to increase sensitivity to the point of allergy.

[pbristow]

Alas, I can technically only applaud from the sidelines on this one, since of two-and-a-half of the five statements don't apply to me. =:o\

Nonetheless, amen!