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catsittingstillHi, I guess I should start with I’m alive; sorry I’ve been gone so long.
I’m actually back because it has been a weird day and this is the best place I know to unpack thoughts that might take some time.
I found out this morning that my friend Beth died last night. It wasn’t a big surprise; we knew she was very sick, but at the same time it was pretty sudden. I saw her about 10 days ago and she wasn’t well but she was still at home. The medication she was on was making her feel pretty rotten and I didn’t spend much time with her. I had actually been thinking, earlier this morning, that I should give her a call and find out if she was feeling better and if she’d like me to come visit and play some songs.
So I guess the take home from that is that friends are treasures we don’t get to keep forever, and you should tell them you love them now, while that is a possible thing.
I was supposed to play instrumental tunes at the Wild Plum (a tea house about an hour away, in the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area) today. I kind of spaced it to the point where I had to call ahead and say I was going to be late, but I did go. Playing on a shaded porch for three hours was actually just the ticket—I was really into the laments today but it was very peaceful and the people were all friendly and kind and I had a couple of groups that went out of their way to sit near me specifically to listen and say kind things between songs.
I made $39 in tips, which is $29 after gas money, but I’m not complaining. A lot of why I do this to desensitize myself to having an audience. I was having a lot of problems with 40% of my playing ability evaporating the moment I got up in front of people and I feel like playing at the Plum is really helping with that, and I’m grateful. Today I also felt genuinely useful; the Plum has only one chef (and right now only 1 server, at least on Friday) and so people without reservations (and sometimes people with) have to wait quite a while sometimes. At a couple of points I was playing for about 15 people. Some of them had to wait 40 minutes or so to get a table, and I only saw a couple of small groups give up and leave. So that made me feel good.
I need to learn some more peaceful pieces; the energetic pieces are good, but it would be nice to have a larger repertoire of calming things for when people are getting restless.
I also need to think about writing a lament for Beth, maker of jewels, painter of mimmoths, keeper of the knowledge of flowers.
I’m actually back because it has been a weird day and this is the best place I know to unpack thoughts that might take some time.
I found out this morning that my friend Beth died last night. It wasn’t a big surprise; we knew she was very sick, but at the same time it was pretty sudden. I saw her about 10 days ago and she wasn’t well but she was still at home. The medication she was on was making her feel pretty rotten and I didn’t spend much time with her. I had actually been thinking, earlier this morning, that I should give her a call and find out if she was feeling better and if she’d like me to come visit and play some songs.
So I guess the take home from that is that friends are treasures we don’t get to keep forever, and you should tell them you love them now, while that is a possible thing.
I was supposed to play instrumental tunes at the Wild Plum (a tea house about an hour away, in the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area) today. I kind of spaced it to the point where I had to call ahead and say I was going to be late, but I did go. Playing on a shaded porch for three hours was actually just the ticket—I was really into the laments today but it was very peaceful and the people were all friendly and kind and I had a couple of groups that went out of their way to sit near me specifically to listen and say kind things between songs.
I made $39 in tips, which is $29 after gas money, but I’m not complaining. A lot of why I do this to desensitize myself to having an audience. I was having a lot of problems with 40% of my playing ability evaporating the moment I got up in front of people and I feel like playing at the Plum is really helping with that, and I’m grateful. Today I also felt genuinely useful; the Plum has only one chef (and right now only 1 server, at least on Friday) and so people without reservations (and sometimes people with) have to wait quite a while sometimes. At a couple of points I was playing for about 15 people. Some of them had to wait 40 minutes or so to get a table, and I only saw a couple of small groups give up and leave. So that made me feel good.
I need to learn some more peaceful pieces; the energetic pieces are good, but it would be nice to have a larger repertoire of calming things for when people are getting restless.
I also need to think about writing a lament for Beth, maker of jewels, painter of mimmoths, keeper of the knowledge of flowers.
