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catsittingstillI have written a new song. I don't feel up to making an mp3--that will follow in a day or two.
Paper Tiger
lyrics and melody by Catherine Faber
copyright 2007
You're sitting in your living room, with paper to your chin;
Your junk is taking over; that is when you call me in.
The cure is going to smart, but take common sense's salve:
The junk you cannot find, you might just as well not have.
Don't worry if important papers vanish in my haste:
The stuff you really needed you can write to have replaced.
Don't watch what I am doing; you'll only suffer more.
Just think how it will feel when you finally see the floor!
Your National Geographics, your issues of Parade,
The stories that your second cousin wrote in seventh grade,
"I always meant to read those!" I hear your plaintive cry—
The continent is sinking—and I've discovered why!
This television's broken, and this printer died last year,
Half a dirty blender—what is that doing here?
Last year I would have trashed it, a broken empty shell,
But now you can recycle appliances as well!
The mice have used these sweaters as a kind of camoflage
I think I've found a bicycle—that goes to the garage.
This t-shirt has a hole, so we'll rip it up for rags,
And this was once organic—thank God for plastic bags!
Homeward I retire, to my husband's warm embrace,
To find my piles of papers sitting, laughing in my face.
I tear through others' treasures like a mastiff with a bone,
But I'm just a paper tiger when the papers are my own.
Paper Tiger
lyrics and melody by Catherine Faber
copyright 2007
You're sitting in your living room, with paper to your chin;
Your junk is taking over; that is when you call me in.
The cure is going to smart, but take common sense's salve:
The junk you cannot find, you might just as well not have.
I'm a tiger with the paper; the recyclers aren't far.
Golly what a pity we don't have a second car!
When I tear into a pile, I leave nothing much behind,
And I keep the process going with the paper bags I find.
Don't worry if important papers vanish in my haste:
The stuff you really needed you can write to have replaced.
Don't watch what I am doing; you'll only suffer more.
Just think how it will feel when you finally see the floor!
Your National Geographics, your issues of Parade,
The stories that your second cousin wrote in seventh grade,
"I always meant to read those!" I hear your plaintive cry—
The continent is sinking—and I've discovered why!
This television's broken, and this printer died last year,
Half a dirty blender—what is that doing here?
Last year I would have trashed it, a broken empty shell,
But now you can recycle appliances as well!
The mice have used these sweaters as a kind of camoflage
I think I've found a bicycle—that goes to the garage.
This t-shirt has a hole, so we'll rip it up for rags,
And this was once organic—thank God for plastic bags!
Homeward I retire, to my husband's warm embrace,
To find my piles of papers sitting, laughing in my face.
I tear through others' treasures like a mastiff with a bone,
But I'm just a paper tiger when the papers are my own.
I am just a paper tiger when recycling I seek
And a single paper bag will sometimes do me for a week.
I walk meekly through the office like a cat that wears a bell;
I am just a paper tiger, and my papers know it well!
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no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 01:28 am (UTC)It's even worse when there are real treasures mixed in with the crap, or when there's a backlog of six months of bookkeeping...
no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 02:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:03 pm (UTC)That's where the sorting comes in. Glance at each sheet, decide "keep" or "toss". I can manage between 2 and 4 sheets a second. But it's a pain when you have to do that.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 01:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 02:23 am (UTC)I was going to say - I've seen his place way back when.
That's a hoot!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 05:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 05:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 07:13 pm (UTC)I look at your words and see "tat tuam asi"--
At least where the stuff is concerned -- not the wisdom,
Alas -- I had chances to pitch, but I missed 'em.
I say, as my heaps of possessions congeal,
Bless you for digging back down to what's real!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:06 pm (UTC)Sometimes stuff builds up to where it's an emergency situation, and then it's like lightening a sinking ship.
BTW--what does "tat tuam asi" mean?
no subject
Date: 2007-07-24 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 02:07 am (UTC)Seriously-- I moonlighted as a professional organizer for a while. I was good at it. Then I came back home and sat serenely on my throne as Queen of the Packrats... after I cleared a few piles of crap off the seat.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 10:27 pm (UTC)The good news is, we're finally in a house that has room for all seven people, the contents of their former abodes *and* their storage units.
The bad news is ... see good news, above. We have a mountain of sorting to do. Someday...
no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:07 pm (UTC)Re the bad news: I sympathize.
You could trade off sorting papers--everybody sorts a pile of someone else's... :-7
no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 11:17 pm (UTC)Yes, I'd already considered that and I think it's exactly what we need to do. I'll probably bring it up at the next house meeting. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 02:37 pm (UTC)Harold
no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 12:10 am (UTC)If you mean in a studio--maybe someday but not anytime soon.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 03:18 am (UTC)Harold