New Song

[catsittingstill]

I was reading _Iron Kissed_ by Patricia Briggs (for those of you not familiar with it, it's the third book in the "Mercy Thompson Is Not Your Everyday Mechanic" series, which I heartily recommend) and it occurred to me that much as I love Mercy I've never written a song for her.  

I tried to write a song for _The Hob's Bargain_ once (which is also by Patricia Briggs and also a great book) and parts of it were quite good, but parts were pretty crippled because I trapped myself into this involuted rhyme scheme and eventually it wandered away into the depths of my mind and for all I know is dead under the furniture somewhere in there. Occasionally I think I hear snatches of it, but that might be just its ghost.

Anyway, the song for Mercy, once I started thinking about it, spilled out in about half an hour, though the tweaking and polishing takes longer, of course.  I don't *think* it has any spoilers, beyond what you would figure out from reading the blurb on the back of the book, but I'll put it behind a cut-tag just in case.

You Stand Alone
lyrics and melody by Catherine Faber

You seek smells, among the stubble
Sea and forest, swamp ferment,
Sniff around and dig up trouble;
Hot upon the scent.

Wolf or woman, you are neither;
From your childhood you have known,
Though you stand one foot in either
World, you stand alone.

Once you bargained with the fairy
For a weapon magic-made
Now you walk light-foot and wary
Till your debts are paid.

House of murder, haunt still hovers,
Death replayed for you alone;
These the clues your nose uncovers,
Meant to lie unknown.

Trusting fool, you sought his aid, and
Though you fight, as honor begs,
Take the cup of trust betrayed and
Drink it to the dregs!

Thus at last the foe unknowing
Strikes the point of greatest strain.
Deep and black Columbia flowing,
Wash away the pain.

It's not bad, except I discovered when I was recording a scratch track to work out harmonies to that it's almost impossible to sing "greatest strain" clearly.  The problem is that pretty much everything I can think of to replace "greatest" with is some sort of superlative, and replacing strain is tricky because it has to rhyme.  But I could say something like "strikes the crucial point of strain" or "strikes the hidden point of  strain."  The image I'm working with is that the easiest way to break something is to hit it when it's already under stress.  Anyway--I guess you should consider this a rough draft.

Comments

[peteralway.livejournal.com]

Strikes the point of hidden strain?
Strikes the great convergent strain?

Making rhymes is one big pain?

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

:-) Sometimes

[braider.livejournal.com]

I wrote a moderately decent song about When Demons Walk, but almost no one has heard it because at its first public airing it was pointed out that I'd accidentally lifted one of Moonwulf's melodies. Must get around to re-writing a melody for it.

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

Or just talk to Moonwulf and get permission to use the melody.

[braider.livejournal.com]

I don't *want* to steal a melody. It's a me thing.

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

I understand. It's easy to end up duplicating a melody by accident.

[tradarcher.livejournal.com]

That's a nice lyics. I am just trying to imagine the music.

It looks like a hit.

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

Thanks :-) I'll probably put sheet music and an mp3 up at some point.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

I like "strikes the crucial point of strain." It's not as obvious a use of words as "greatest strain," as well as being easier to sing. "Hidden point of strain" sounds weaker to me.

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I see your point. Still thinking about it...

[smoooom.livejournal.com]

What's the first book in the series?

[catsittingstill.livejournal.com]

The first book is _Moon Called_, the second is _Blood Bound_, the third is _Iron Kissed_.