Still alive
Oct. 5th, 2003 10:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catsittingstillI'm still alive. I've just been busy--but not with anything that sounds interesting to write about :-). Catching up on housework, paying bills, that kind of thing.
I have my second lesson tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous about it. I've been practicing every day, frequently two or three times a day, but I'm nowhere near as fast or accurate on St. Anne's Reel as I'd like to be. And I'm pretty sure I won't be able to play it as well for someone else as I can alone in the Brownie's office. Will Roy think I don't practice? Well, he can hardly think that--at my first lesson I couldn't even stumble through the whole thing. Will he think I'm no good? Well, what am I taking lessons for, if not to *get* good?
Kip points out that maybe I'm too anxious about this. Am I going to let this guy I barely know define my self worth? What if he *does* think I'm a talentless grunt, or a lazy bum--why should I care? He's getting paid to teach me and be civil about it--if he can't do that, I can always find someone who can.
But how does one judge one's own talent, or lack? If you can't get some kind of reference off others, where do you get it? Your own wildest dreams of glory? Your own darkest doubts and fears? (Look, I know I'm a good songwriter--I'm not trolling for complements here. This is just a combination of general anxiety about musical performance and philosophical question.)
I have my second lesson tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous about it. I've been practicing every day, frequently two or three times a day, but I'm nowhere near as fast or accurate on St. Anne's Reel as I'd like to be. And I'm pretty sure I won't be able to play it as well for someone else as I can alone in the Brownie's office. Will Roy think I don't practice? Well, he can hardly think that--at my first lesson I couldn't even stumble through the whole thing. Will he think I'm no good? Well, what am I taking lessons for, if not to *get* good?
Kip points out that maybe I'm too anxious about this. Am I going to let this guy I barely know define my self worth? What if he *does* think I'm a talentless grunt, or a lazy bum--why should I care? He's getting paid to teach me and be civil about it--if he can't do that, I can always find someone who can.
But how does one judge one's own talent, or lack? If you can't get some kind of reference off others, where do you get it? Your own wildest dreams of glory? Your own darkest doubts and fears? (Look, I know I'm a good songwriter--I'm not trolling for complements here. This is just a combination of general anxiety about musical performance and philosophical question.)
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no subject
Date: 2003-10-05 07:40 pm (UTC)To satisfy yourself in whatever way you want to. If you want to reel off St. Anne's Reel really quickly, then definitely set that as a goal (and I'll duck that pun-inspired thwack, thank you). I know that, given the mild tendinitis I've had touches of at times, I won't ever be a technical virtuoso. So I have different goals: general musicianship and using my musical wits to make things sound good, in addition to just enjoying playing more (and wincing less). I want a music teacher to give me technical advice and add to my musical perspectives. But I'm setting the goals. And a good music teacher wants adult students to set goals, as far as I understand! Imagine yourself being paid to teach songwriting, or science, and having someone your age asking you to tell her or him what she or he wants to learn. You know lots about what may be wise to learn, but you can't set goals. (I face this in students all the time. I can arrange the course to make students learn if they're in it for the grade. But it's a lot easier if they have other goals as well.)
Of course, ask me tomorrow evening how that first viola lesson in 20 years went. Maybe I'll have a different perspective then.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-05 08:37 pm (UTC)1) make the mandolin sound good on recordings. Not necessarily fast--but with a constant, predictable speed, and a constant loudness I can deliberately vary for interpretave purposes, and no buzzes or thumpy notes. Much of this can be faked with modern recording technology--but I'd really like to be able to do it for real.
2) play along with other folk musicians either as background (chords) or as harmony, or taking the melody sometimes. For this it would be useful to be able to
a) play fast--or faster, anyway
b) play different keys; the mando likes G, D, A, and C but guitar players are crazy
c) know a lot of the local repertoire
d) play many different chords
e) play (improvise?) riffs and frills during the singer's rests
f) learn new songs quickly
I also want to be able to play a harmony line with myself while I sing. I can do this now, but I want to get good enough to be able to improvise, instead of planning it out and learning it by heart phrase by phrase. I'm not sure Roy will be able to help me with this; I've never heard another mando player do it. But I strongly suspect that getting better at 1 and 2 a-f will also help me improve this last skill. I do notice that even though I didn't practice Out Of The Music's Way last week, I can now play it better--so practicing St Anne's Reel improved my skills generally. Which is kind of heartening, now that I think about it.